Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i believe in u and ur pee
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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