if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
