he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
