You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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