After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the day after is always just damage control
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
