He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
