We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
