I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
