She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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