I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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