not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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