At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
