Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
