We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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