guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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