brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
