i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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