She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
