The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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