If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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