My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
