He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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