Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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