I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
