You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
