I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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