one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
