U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
