Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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