Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
