I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i will never coherently bang her
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
