Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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