i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
