i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
