I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
