just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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