her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
