I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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