cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
