i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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