we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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