Dual....:-)
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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