The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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