Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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