I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize