Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
