Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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