I bet he comes in French.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He better not be in your backpack
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
