Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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