She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
