She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
