dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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