come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
