my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize