found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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