No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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