I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
