My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
