just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
